When times are tough... keep running and keep your head up!

This year has been, so far, like my first year of teaching all over again; learning new rules, new ways of doing things, different ways of teaching, teaching a different language, etc, etc. And, like my first year of teaching, I have been trying to do what I thought was the right thing, modeling my behavior from what I see and observe. But, after teaching for 7 years one thing I have learned is that to be an effective teacher, you really need to just be yourself.

My first 2 months here were mostly filled with “the highs” and I hadn’t had too many lows. Well, as the lows started coming, I was finding myself battling negative thoughts, homesickness, and frustration. Now, this isn’t a daily thing, but I do think that the “honeymoon period” is over, and reality has set it. I was at a bit of a loss on how to battle this; what do I do to make sure I don’t fall into some pit of Mexican despair where I just sit around and eat enchiladas all day and watch telenovelas? I don't have the group of American Buddies I had when I lived in Spain so I'm going through this alone. I do have a few Fulbrighters close by, but its different. We're teaching in different schools and we don't get to see each other that often.

On one particularly bad day, I got home and was angry. With whom? Why? What happened? A series of rather unpleasant events, yes, like hearing the thud of a man’s head as the metro struck him as it approached. He seemed ok (a little dazed!) and was bleeding down his face, but I think he was alright. I had noticed that people stand ridiculously close to the trains as they approach, like if they don’t get as close as possible they’re not going to get on that train. It was a little scary and gave me that awful feeling in your stomach like after you see a car accident or something. I just couldn’t shake that feeling once I got home.

That, and other things that were bothering me, sent me spiraling down. I got home and told myself, “I need to do something about this.” I was feeling so bad, so negative, that I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t like it. I knew I needed to go for a run and get out of my apartment, but it was hard. Enchiladas and telenovelas were calling me… but, I strapped on the Asics and headed to my new favorite place to run, a one-kilometer loop in the greater Chapultepec Park that circles the Gandhi statue. I told myself as I approached that I was going to run more than I had since I’d gotten here, that I’ve been building up and finally feeling ok when I run, and that I needed to control SOMETHING, achieve SOMETHING. After only having run 5 kilometers at the most, I set out to run 8 kilometers (close to 5 miles). With every step I started to feel better, and as I completed the last lap (which I later figured out was 9, not 8, my math skills haven’t improved in Mexico, obviously!), my negative feelings where gone.

I came to Mexico for many reasons, but pursuing my “career” as an athlete was something that I had accepted as being ok on the backburner for a year. Yes, I walk to school 3 days a week (about an hour each way) and yes, I do my yoga, but I hadn’t really been as active as I’m used to being. I had been running occasionally, but I think I was trying too hard to be someone who I’m not. I really need to remember that, even though I’m living in a foreign country, I am still ME. I like to eat apples with peanut butter, I like Starbucks, and I am an athlete.

I joined a volleyball team (more about that later) and I’ve decided that I need to run more. Signing up for the 10k in Monterrey was a great idea and it was so fun! While I was running, I thought, “Why do I do this? There’s no one waiting for me at the finish line, there’s no prize for me, so why?” As I came down the stretch to cross the finish, I knew why. It’s so much of who I am, why I do what I do. Why do I teach when there isn’t much hope of making a lot of money, nor a lot of praise? Well, when you cross that finish line, that feeling of ACHIEVING something…. that’s it. I think I’m finally remembering who I am. I teach because I feel like I can achieve something with my hard work, and I don’t always get a prize or a thank you. I run because of the way it makes me feel and because I know I’ve accomplished a goal. I don’t win and ya’ll know I’m not fast. It’s not always about what you’re going to get back, rather what you put into it. The rewards you get are that feeling of, wow, look what I can do. In my toughest of moments I hope I can remember this.

Oh, yeah, and the endorphins are great, too. J

Guanajuato and Día de los muertos

I think I'm finally becoming more Mexican. That's what someone told me, anyway, when I announced on Wednesday I wanted to go to Guanajuato on Friday. Mexicans are better at being spontaneous and not planning everything out. While I have been somewhat spontaneous in the past, I tend to lean toward the "let's have a plan" attitude. I think I can get used to spontaneity here.

I called Sharon and she was in. I had trouble booking a hotel because it was the last weekend of The Cervantino (a huge festival that takes place in October in Guanajuato) and a puente weekend (meaning Monday was a holiday). I got back on my favorite bus, ETN, and was in Guanajuato in 5 hours.

Sharon wasn't going to be meeting up with me until Saturday morning, so Friday I took to the town by myself. Thankful that my hotel was very close to downtown (after Expedia booked me into a hotel that was overbooked, that hotel helped me find this hotel, which was closer and included breakfast and lunch everyday. Nice.), I set out to explore. I couldn't believe how many people were there! And, it was only Friday... what would tomorrow be like, I wondered. I saw street performances, ate the Mexican version of corn on the cob (with crema, cheese and chile, yum!), and marveled at the small alleys and streets. I saw the Alley of the Kiss (Callejón del Beso) but wasn't in the mood to kiss a stranger, so I didn't hang out there for too long. Legend says you're supposed to kiss your boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/husband/wife, whoever, there and if you don't kiss anyone, it's bad luck. Ah, well, I don't consider myself lucky with love anyway, so I took my chances and didn't try to lock lips with anyone.

The next morning I woke up early to go to the Mummy Museum before Sharon and Alice arrived. They had already been and highly recommended it to me (as did several others). When I got there I remembered that I'm not a fan of dead things and Death gives me a stomach ache. The mummies where pretty amazing (see picture) and I couldn't believe they were that well preserved. But, my imagination got the better of me... I saw these mummies as people, the skin that covered their bones, their teeth, the hair... it was almost too much. The small children brought tears to my eyes. Who cries at a mummy museum? Yeah, that would be me. I realized that Mexico is probably good for me in several ways, one of them their attitude toward death. I mean, they CELEBRATE Day of the Dead, and they actually use that word, celebrar. It's not that they don't have a tough time when people die, but I'm thinking they might have a healthier relationship with Death. I, on the other hand, do not. Another thing for me to work on while I'm here.

When Sharon and Alice arrived, we set out to see Guanajuato. We walked all around, admired the marigolds and flowers in the market for Day of the Dead, bought souvenirs at El Mercado Hidalgo, ate Pan de muertos with café de olla (YUM!) at our favorite spot, La Purísima, and walked around more and more. The amount of people in the streets was a little overwhelming so we retired to the room in the afternoon to close our eyes. After our rest we returned to the city, saw the university, marveled at the crowds yet again, ate dinner, then returned to sleep.

The next day we had specific goals. We wanted to see Diego Rivera's house from when he was a small child (he moved to Mexico City when he was 5 or 6, I think), see a Day of the Dead altar somewhere, and go to the Pipila statue that overlooks the town. When we got to Diego's house I was super excited that there was a altar there. 2 in 1! The house was pretty neat and had several of his paintings there. I didn't know he dappled with cubism but, being the master artist that he was, I guess he figured he could experiment with all types of art movements. I was very impressed with his cubist works, I must admit.

After Diego's house we walked to the funicular that took us up the steep cliff to the Pipila statue. The view from there was amazing. We sat and enjoyed the breeze and the view before walking down the steep pathway back down to the city. We were pretty exhausted from our day of walking around so we got some movies to watch in our hotel room that evening. Yes, I admit that I bought pirated movies... but, I learned my lesson. One of them was actually a recording of someone in a movie theater and you could hear people laughing in the background. Learned my lesson! We were able to watch Nacho Libre, though. Love that movie and I must admit, after living here for only 3 months, there are details and things about that movie that I get now that I didn't before. As horrible it is about making fun of Mexico, it's hilarious. Gotta love Jack Black.

The next day we walked around a little before our departure to our respective cities, Sharon and Alice back to Leon and me back to DF. We played a little hide-and-seek in the park to work off our breakfast of chilaquiles and got some tortas for the bus. At 1:30 I boarded the bus (legs fully extended, see picture), equipped and ready for my 5 hour trek back with an episode of Grey's Anatomy and The Office downloaded on my computer.

Monterrey

At our training in Washington D.C. in August we were told about a huge conference that was going to be taking place in October called MEXTESOL . Me, being the Super Nerd (noña) that I am, was eager to join hundreds of other teachers for a weekend of learning, workshops, and rejuvenation. Living my life "inside out" (I'm a Spanish teacher in the U.S. yet an English teacher in Mexico) as I like to call it, it's nice to meet people who live here and do what I do.

I flew with Jessica, our Comexus godess, and several others from either Comexus or IIE (Institute of International Education). We got to the convention center and helped them set up their stands where they would be displaying their Comexus, IIE, and U.S. Embassy literature.

The next day the conference began and it was CRAZY. Definitely the largest conference I've ever been to. I spent about an hour in line for registration alone. I attended a few sessions and hung out at the stand with the Comexus/IIE/Embassy folks. I really enjoyed getting to know the IIE and Embassy people. In addition to being very helpful, they were hilarious. They tried teaching me some local slang but I don't remember much. Guess I need more practice with that.

The thing that I love about conferences is that it reminds you of why you do what you do. Sometimes we get so caught up in our jobs, in the stuff that's all wrong, in the problems, etc, that we lose sight of our STUDENTS. It's them we're trying to teach, not some system that's failing, not paying us enough, and treating us like robots (exhale Gretchen...). I was introduced to several individuals who have pursued higher learning in fields that inspire me, wrote down several books that I want to read about teaching strategies, and smiled remembering that I do love teaching... it's easy to forget that sometimes.

On Friday night Comexus hosted a cocktail party for the teachers that were Fulbright alumni. Toward the end of the evening we all stood in a large circle, introduced ourselves, talked about what Fulbright program we did, etc. By the time the circle introductions ended, I was very touched by this group. The majority of them had participated in a summer program in Texas, one did a teaching exchange in Montana for a year, and another was about to leave for New York for the year. Hearing this grateful group of Mexican teachers talk about their experiences reminded me of why I'm here. They did what I'm doing and are back in their home countries, teaching about what they learned during their U.S. experience. For me, that part is so far away I forget about it. I'm here for many reasons, but the eventual return to the U.S. to share my experiences with my students and colleagues is a huge part of this. I'm thankful they helped me remember that.

When we weren't participating in the MEXTESOL fun, we got out of the hotel/conference center to enjoy our meals in the city. Everyone kept telling me I needed to eat "cabrito". Ok, sure. I'm not a vegetarian so eating meat isn't a problem, even goat (yes, even goat, even though I had them as pets when I was a kid.... just don't think about it and you're ok). We went to El Rey Del Cabrito for our goat meal. I mean, if you're going to eat goat, might as well go to The King of the Baby Goat, huh? The meat was ok, good, but not the best thing in the world. The part that was most horrifying for me was the translations on the menu. Isn't it funny that the same word or phrase can have such a stronger mean in one language or the other? I mean, say cabrito, and it's not that bad, say baby goat and, well, yeah, that's a little hard to swallow (no pun intended...  ok, it was intended). The menu had things like Baby Goat Head, Baby Goat Blood,... yikes. Yeah, maybe just don't translate it. It's so much better in Spanish. (The picture of Jessica and me outside of El Rey shows the cabritos all sprawled out... yikes to that, too).

In addition to attending the conference I also managed to squeeze in a 10k run. The Nike Human Race is a race that takes place in several cities all over the world on the same day. I was lucky that it was in Monterrey the weekend I was there. I joined the other 1000's of people, all with our red running shirts on, for the 10k race around Monterrey. While I was stretching I met several people that work at the U.S. Consulate in Monterrey.  :) The race was really fun and it reminded me how much fun running is. Even in a country where running isn't as popular as it is at home, I was able to find comfort that I had something in common with all of these people. We were all crazy enough to get up on the cold, drizzly morning to go for a run.

Morelia

As much as I love Mexico City, I love leaving it, too. Sharing a city with millions of other people is fun and exciting, but I think it gets to me sometimes. I'm thankful for the travel opportunities that I've had to keep me sane. During the weekend of the 9th-11th of October, I met up with 2 fellow Fulbrighers, Tim and Sharon, and Sharon's 8 year-old daughter, Alice. I had always heard great things about Morelia and was excited to see this charming little town.

My original intention was to see the International Film Festival in Morelia, however, once we got there, that became secondary. Tim and I hung out the first night and he was expecting the energetic, let's-party-Gretchen, but she wasn't there. I'm-so-tired-I-just-want-to-relax-Gretchen was there instead. We walked around, saw the cathedral lit up at night, and ate some yummy food. The flavors reminded me of the Mexican food from home, maybe because in California we have a large population from Michoacán (the state that Morelia is in) and they have brought their delicious recipes with them. 

The next morning Tim and I set out to find out what this film festival was all about. We found the theater and spoke to someone who was promoting their film. It was about the raids on immigrants in the U.S. and how it effects the towns they are deported from and the towns they are deported back to. This film was specifically about a small town in Iowa with a large Guatemalan population. Unfortunately, the film was sold out by the time we got to the front of the line. That was our film festival experience. I still want to find this film and see it some day.

I was told that stars might be in town for the festival, so of course I kept my eyes peeled looking for Poncho Herrera or Jaime Camil. No luck there, either. Instead of stalking stars all day, Tim and I met up with Sharon and Alice in our hotel. We set out to explore the city. We went to an orchid garden, went to the candy museum (yes, a candy museum!), and returned to our hotel tired from wandering around. I think Tim, Sharon, and I really needed our sit-down- and-talk-time. Poor Alice got bored of the adult talk and retired back to the room to watch movies. I remember as a child whenever my mom was visiting with friends she would tell me, "Just let me finish this cup of coffee." I never understood why she didn't just chug that cup so we could go! Now I get it. We told Alice we were just going to finish our coffee and we would be right up. A couple of hours later, we were still there. We took turns venting about our frustrations of teaching in Mexico, bragging about the wonderful experiences we've had, and laughing about the many peculiarities of Mexico. When Alice came back wondering if we had finally finished our coffee, we decided to venture back out into the city.

We found a neat restaurant/bar/lounge where we ate our late dinner. The perfect place for all: food, music, and couches. Once Alice got tired, she just lay down on the couch and we were able to continue our dinner, listening to the music and trying to ignore the making-out couples that surrounded us. Public displays of affection are really common. I'm trying to get used to it again (Spain was crazy!).

The next day Tim left early, but Sharon, Alice and I set out to wander around the city before our buses left later that afternoon. I took them to the places that Tim had shown me; the aqueduct, a museum that was all about women, a beautiful church, an artesanía market, and the main plaza. We parted ways at the bus terminal and I was actually excited to get on a bus for 4 hours. ETN, the bus line I've been using here, is amazing. Once I had WiFi, there is enough leg room for me to straighten my legs (yes, ME!), movies, etc. Plus, the views of Mexico from the window are pleasing to look at while I listen to my música romántica....